


there is no law that gods must be fair

by aeoleus



Category: The Brave (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Gen, adam is a dumbass!, au!, this is HEAVILY inspired by the song of achilles and also by epic poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 14:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeoleus/pseuds/aeoleus
Summary: "Know that I loved you. Know that it wasn't enough."What if Adam left Jaz behind at the compound instead of Preach?





	there is no law that gods must be fair

  
  
They weren’t even on base when it happened. 

He, Preach, Amir, and McG were transporting Verina back. Giddy, relieved banter was flying around the truck and Adam wasn't even attempting to lock up his foul-mouthed medic like he usually would. In the back of his mind, Adam knew he had left Jaz and Patricia alone with the deadliest man Adam had ever interacted with, but, to be honest, he was so grateful for this win he was barely worrying about them. Why should he? They were both highly trained, and Alex was tied up.    
  
Maybe that was his mistake. Barely worrying. Maybe that was God’s (or the universe. Or the Whatever from High Atop the Thing. Adam wasn’t picky about his deities) way of punishing him for his cockiness and saying “Look. Look what happens when you trust that things will be alright, Adam. There is no law that gods must be fair- do you see that there is nothing but chaos and confused pain in this world?”    
  
Adam sees.    
  
His arms are crossed so tight his muscles are starting to cramp. Adam can definitely see. He can see it in the bandages that bind Jaz’s chest, the tube that's forced down her throat. He can see it in the cuts that had just been healing over, forced back open. He can see it in how utterly still she is.    
  
Adam can see it in how much he wants to scream into the void about unfairness and chaos.    
  
“She hates hospitals.” McG says behind him. Preach snorts.    
“That she does.” He says. He nudges Adam with a cup of coffee.    
“She’s going to be okay, Top.” He says, and he sounds so confident, so reassuring, that Adam almost believes him. But then an alarm beeps and Jaz’s blood pressure is low and Adam can only think of how he almost left Preach behind instead of Jaz, how Jaz had grinned at him before they’d walked out the door, all self-assured strength and big eyes and little freckles at the corner of her cheeks Adam isn’t sure she even knows are there, and he can only think of chaos and pain.    
“Right.” He says. He turns away from Jaz as the nurse comes in to adjust something. He knows she would disapprove of what he’s about to do, and somehow, facing her makes it harder. He ignores his team’s sounds of protest as he rips his earpiece out and drops his phone on the table. By the time he pushes the door open, he can no longer hear them. There’s only a buzzing in his ears and a desperate, white-hot rage in his chest.

 

* * *

  
  
Sitting across from him, Adam knows Alex thinks he’s going to emerge the victor. After all, how could Adam possibly know that Alex has a gun? Alex is shifting almost imperceptibly towards it as his eyes darken and he spits some poison about how he and Adam are the same, and that Adam won’t kill him. Maybe he even thinks he can bargain for his life.    
  
But what Alex doesn’t know is that Adam’s conscience is somewhat detached from his body. And right now, it’s under deep sedation and could very well die. So no, Adam isn’t particularly worried about the morality of this situation. 

Alex is not human. He is prey. 

Adam is not human. He is the hunter. 

So when Alex moves for his gun Adam barely flinches as he shoots it out of his hand, and then double taps him. Alex slumps to the ground with an almost anti-climactic thump. Adam tucks his gun away, picks up the laptop, and as he steps over Alex’s prone body, is almost forcibly reminded of some ancient poetry he had picked up somewhere. 

_ There are no bargains between lions and men.  _

_ I will kill you and eat you raw. _

 

* * *

  
  
If this was a movie, maybe Jaz would be awake when Adam returns from Patricia’s room, having told her about the death of her partner and having made an extremely lame joke about hoping it sticks this time.    
  
She would have made fun of that joke.    
  
But this isn’t a movie. 

It’s reality, and in reality, wounds aren’t just for character development and people you love sometimes don’t wake up from comas. Adam crosses the room and sits heavily at Jaz’s side.  McG is asleep against Amir’s shoulder, and Preach has disappeared to call his daughters. So no one is there to witness Adam take her hand, careful of the tubes.    
“I killed him, Jaz.” He says. She doesn’t respond. Typical. Jaz is more of the strong and silent type. Always had been.   
“It’s not enough, huh?” He asks. 

He never noticed, but there’s a small, circular scar on the inside of her wrist. He has a couple of those himself. Adam scoffs mirthlessly. Cigarette butts. A bitch to put out. The nearest child often had to do in his house. Apparently Jaz’s, too. 

  
She stirs, only slightly, extremely slightly, and Adam is all at once so overcome with emotions that he has to squeeze his eyes shut and steady his breathing. When he opens them again he doesn’t find Jaz staring at him, so he instead focuses on the freckles in the corner of her eyes, the scar on the edge of her hairline.    
“I love you.” He whispers. He’s breaking rules, crossing lines, but the universe is cruel and chaotic and vicious and what does it matter if he does?    
  
Jaz doesn’t move. Doesn’t even breathe any differently.    
  
“It’s not enough.” Adam says. “It’s not enough.”    


* * *

 

  
She doesn’t wake up. She does get better. Her blood pressure stabilizes and she undergoes multiple procedures to repair the damage to her lungs. But she doesn’t wake up. He sends the team home and lets them come in shifts so as to maybe force something like regular sleeping and eating habits on them. 

He’s just returned to the hospital for his shift, clutching a massive coffee and his laptop, intending to catch up on some paperwork and make snarky comments to Jaz about the DIA’s choice in redundancy in after action reports.    
He opens the door to Jaz’s room. A doctor is bending over the bed. Well, that’s not unusual. 

Maybe what is unusual is how Preach is grinning ear to ear on the other side of the bed, talking animatedly.    
“What’s going on?” Adam asks. He sets down his coffee and laptop and refuses to let himself think anything.

But then he approaches the bed and sees Jaz.    
  
Really Jaz. Awake. The tube has been removed from her throat and she has an oxygen mask strapped to her face. Her eyes are only half-open and she’s dazedly looking around the room, but Adam thinks she may be the most beautiful sight he has ever seen. 

  
“Jaz,” He says in a strangled voice. He crossed to the bed and takes on of her hands, realizing Preach is watching and not caring.    
“Jaz, I, I-“ There are so many words flying around his head but none of them are making it to his mouth. “I, uh-“    
Jaz smiles slowly and lazily at him, lightly squeezing his hand. She knows what he wants to say.    
“Top,” She rasps out. Adam laughs and doesn’t try to hide the tears in his eyes. She was always better with words than he was.    



End file.
